College and Pregnancy

I found out that I was pregnant on May 24. Since then I have learned about "morning" sickness (which should more appropriately be called "all day and especially at night" sickness), prenatal vitamins, never-ending hunger, and peeing every 45 minutes. My life changed the minute two lines showed up on that stick, but I have not been as acutely aware of how much it has changed until I stepped back onto campus with thousands of college students.

For example, yesterday I stood in line behind a guy who buying 5 microwavable meals from the convenience store in the commons. His dinners were set for the week! Behind me there was another guy hitting on some girl that he probably met over the weekend. Meanwhile, I was buying a Cliff bar so that I could get through class without passing out from hunger.

My classmates don't know what to do with me. They look at my belly, then to my face and then back to my belly. I can see the questions spinning in their heads and I almost want to say, "yes, I am pregnant...and yes I was already married when I became pregnant...and no this is not a surprise to me." Yesterday, BJ came to see me for a little bit. Then the scene went a little more like this...look at me and whisper to the person next them, "I think that girl is pregnant"...then look at BJ, "yeah, and HE did it to her."

The biggest change is that being back at school reminds me that my life really isn't about me anymore. I had already learned some of that lesson when BJ and I got married, but I'm learning it in a completely new way now. We both are. I am reminded of it when I wake up in the middle of the night, sick from hunger and have to find food. BJ is reminded of it when I feel too gross to get out of bed and he has to go downstairs to get the food. I am reminded of it when I walk down a crowded stairwell with one hand on the railing and the other on my belly to guard against flying freshmen...or when I apologize to my professor for how often I leave class to go to the bathroom. We are both reminded of it when we walk through campus and talk about birthing classes and cribs. Over and over again I am reminded at how our lives have changed forever, and I love it.