Disappointment After Joy

In The Screwtape Letters, C.S Lewis writes about the “disappointment” that comes “on the threshold of every human endeavour...It occurs when the boy who has been enchanted in the nursery by Stories from the Odyssey buckles down to really learning Greek. It occurs when lovers have got married and begin the real task of learning to live together. In every department of life it marks the transition from dreaming aspiration to laborious doing.”

If we’re honest, I think that most of us would admit that when we finally get what we dreamed of, we typically experience some initial disappointment. We dream of new adventures filled with exciting unknowns, but once we are staring those unknowns in the face we suddenly aren’t so sure we want the adventure anymore.

The Israelites had been slaves in Egypt for over 400 years when Moses told Pharaoh to let them go. Their captivity was miserable and they had been praying for freedom for centuries, but as soon as they got out, they started complaining. This wasn’t what they had expected! They even went so far as to talk about going back to Egypt and about how “good” Egypt was to them. God had not called them into the wilderness forever, but He did ask them to walk through a dry and difficult place on their way to abundance.

Making a decision to accept and follow Christ…Going off to college…Getting married...Starting a new job…Training for a marathon or a big hike…Having a baby…Moving to a foreign country….it all sounds so thrilling at first! However, our dreams of great adventures seldom include the reality of the hard work required to get there. The question is, how do we respond when we are faced with the hard work of our dreams coming true? What happens when the initial emotions wear thin and we are left with tough labor?

We can choose to…

1. Quit/Never do anything new
2. Complain
3. Accept the work as part of the road to the dream and surrender

This has been my reality over the past month. BJ and I recently followed God into a new season of our lives by leaving our jobs and stepping out into the unknown. We talked before hand about how it would be difficult to adjust and how excited we were for the challenge. Then the challenge actually got here and we (meaning mostly me) wanted to panic. Ten days into this transition, we found out that I was pregnant. We were thrilled. For a week and a half I felt as though I was floating I was so happy. Then the morning sickness hit me (which should more appropriately be called “all day nausea”). Honestly, at first I was happy to be feeling bad. It told me that things were working! Then after a few days of feeling bad all the time, I started to break. It was in the midst of this that I read the words of CS Lewis. I was reminded that all of this is a part of the road to the good things God has for us.

God knew what He was doing with the Israelites. He didn’t take them out of slavery so that they could die in the wilderness. But He did ask them to walk through the wilderness to get the good things He had for them. Unfortunately, they complained and took things into their own hands, ultimately causing them to stay in the wilderness for 40 years.

He knows what He is doing with us too. But how will we respond?

Lewis went on to explain that he believed God allows us to feel this disappointment because of His love for us. He chooses to let us be free and not to carry us. He never abandons us in the wilderness, but He does let us walk through it. There are so many things to be gained in the dry stages of disappointment if we are willing to surrender. We can quit and/or complain, or we can surrender to God and to the process He is taking us through.

What do you think? When have you experienced the disappointment that comes with new things? What was on the other side?

Watering My Own Yard

My good friend and sister, Nastassia, posted a quote last week that consequently caused a huge shift in my thinking. In talking about marriages, pastor Rick Warren said “The grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence. The grass is greener where you water it.”

19 words. That’s it. But I haven’t been able to get those 19 words out of my head in over a week.

I know that marriages take work, but I often forget how much work is required for other areas of my life (such as rest, my relationship with God, my relationships with other people, the way I spend my time and money, etc). Instead, I am so quick to assume that the grass is greener in someone else’s life. If you ask my parents, they will likely tell you that I have always been this way. Growing up, I was only content as long as I didn’t see something that looked better. As soon as I found something that appeared "greener", I worked to achieve or become whatever it was. The same is true today.

Driving to work this morning, I thought about how little time I spend doing the things I say I want to do (such as writing. sitting and listening to music, read, and other things that equal rest). In this particular moment I was also listening to Sara Groves (shocking, I know). She is one of the most peaceful women I have ever seen or heard. I made a mental list of the things I want to do, reflected on how unhappy I am that I so rarely do them, and was then jealous of the peaceful surrender that Sara Groves seems to live in. As soon as the thought entered my head I could almost audibly hear God say, “Well, do something about it. Water your own yard.” He didn’t say, “It’s ok Cara. You’re very busy and responsible. Let me rub your back and you just tell me about all the big important things you do and how you have no time for anything else.” Instead, He told me to do something about it. He told me to stop whining and start watering my own grass.

It’s not that I can’t read a book, sit and listen to music, or write a blog on a regular basis. I choose not to. I choose not to every time I choose to play on BJ’s iPhone, stay up watching TV, or find some other method of empty distraction. And I’ll be honest, I would love to believe that I just can’t do any of those things. The truth is that I can do all of those things, but it will require that I choose to give up other things.

It’s so much easier to believe that the grass is greener somewhere else. Then we never have to deal with our own yards.